7/3

I would be married 25 years this September if my husband hadn’t died.

I wonder if I will ever feel completely safe again.

I had a beautiful marriage. I had a wonderful husband. I feel his loss every moment of every day and I’m afraid I am not doing as good as people think I am .

I have cried buckets and talked plenty. It doesn’t make the sadness or fear leave.

He always said he wished he would have met me before Haiti. Somehow he always knew more about me than I did. He knew when I changed. He wished he could protect me from it. That alone made me feel safe.

I miss him so much.