Well, the last few weeks have been a whirlwind. Do I say that alot? It seems like I just keep getting busier. Wedding plans are coming along. I’m fretting the finances. I did lose 6 pounds which is kind of cool. It just seems like it everything is going so slowly – except for time. How weird is that?

Emily and I went shopping yesterday for girly things for the wedding. I am now the proud owner of my first pair of Spanks.People say they are miraculous. We’ll see….

We found a beautiful pair of shoes that will make the dress (my feet?) look lovely. I actually have to have them dyed – the color white is weird. The dress is candlelight white – which to some may be ivory and others champagne, but then it could be regular white, just catching the light in a different way. Either way, the dress is pretty and now the shoes are pretty too. Of course you must know that I have pair of white Crocs to put on when I want to get comfortable for the party part, right? lol

Hello all,

I had a rather fun week-end. Fred’s daughter, Krista, my daughter, Emily, Krista’s baby, Kylie, Fred and I went shopping for a black dress for Krista to wear at the wedding. We met for lunch first to introduce Emily to all. Kylie kept us happily occupied as we ate and kibitzed.

Emily and Krista will be our Best Women. They are the only two who will be standing with us. Fred’s sons are way too shy to even think about standing up with us. I think that’s cute.

I was surprised that Krista wanted a long dress to wear. I would think a young person would want a short dress to she could wear it out later. She seemed really excited about the dress we chose. It’s a flowy black dress with a shrug made from the same fabric as Emily’s. While these two women have chosen very different black dresses, I think they compliment each other and will look lovely on wedding day.

Later, Emily and I discussed music. Fred was in the room working on his computer. He didn’t seem too interested, but he snickered every now and then, especially when I suggested our recessions be “I got you babe” by Sonny and Cher. Oh, it is so much fun getting to chose exactly what I want. It’s going to be incredible. Larry and Emily will be in concert. I will want to sit in the audience and listen, but alas, Fred and I will be “off stage” listening from the rear. I hope somebody gets a fabulous recording so I can live it over and over again. Of course, the music will be wedding appropriate, Bach, Beethoven, and some surprises. I think the wedding is going to be “comfortably classy”.

I wish my brother, Larry, lived in town. I think he and Emily and Mark would make quite a fine team. I bet they would get plenty of gigs. They are extremely talented musicians. I miss Larry being close by.

Fred has suggested we go to Fort Wayne soon. I’d like to steal Emily and Mark away to take them with us. Summer is going to fly by so quickly that I’m sure we won’t have a chance to catch our breath.

Emily and Mark are going to Boston this week-end. They are quite excited. They have tickets for the Pops. I can’t wait to hear all about it. When they return, there will be just enough time for them to do their laundry, then we all leave for Michigan together. We will share our wonderful Northland with Fred. I hope he likes it as much as we do. We are staying with Aunt Joyce one night and then on Mackinac Island one night. I hope it is most relaxing.

Now in the ever present food issue department……well…..status quo. My weight remains the same. I still think that’s a good thing. I’m not gaining. I’m not losing either. I really think I’m eating like a “normal” person. That alone is an accomplishment. Still, I think if I get two more fills, I will then NOT be able to eat like a normal person and I will begin to lose weight again. We’ll see.

I told my sister-in-law Chandra that losing weight and eating right is a full time job. I’m not interested in making it my job. I want the weight to fall of “naturally.” I don’t want to think about it. I’ve got too many fun things to think about now. I realize that is crazy talk. Why would a person get a lap band if she didn’t want to think about weight? Ah, the saga continues. Like the last post – ebb and flow — ebb and flow.

To me, the full time job is planning a wedding, enjoying Fred, getting the condo ready for Fred to move in and having a fun summer with Emily and Mark going on vacation, swimming and so on.

Gosh, I’m mainly as happy as one can be – – the dark side is in remission – – for this minute anyway. I’m going to relish that.

I’ve been wondering how you might ebb and flow the way I do. Do you? Do you one day feel empowered to be your best and then the next flub something that sends you down hard? I can’t be the only one on a see-saw. Am I?

There are days I feel fantastic. There are days I feel like a putz. I can’t decide which emotion I am feeling more often than the other, fantastic or putzy. One would think that the successes I’ve had over the recent months would buoy me up. Still the negative seems to take all the power. I hate that.

I adore Fred today more than yesterday. He says and does some of the cutest things and says some of the most wonderfully romantic things. Yet, in one comment, I can be sent into a tailspin that makes me wonder what the hell am I doing with him. I know what we have is extraordinary. I am so lucky to have him in my life. Still, I get scared.

It’s that damn yin and yang thing. Please tell me you have these same experiences.

Food – ah – food. Continues to be my nemeses. Up and down. Good and bad. Sweet and sour. healthy or not. Damn the yin and yang thing.

One thing remains consistent – love. Our family is fabulous. Fred and I spent a great deal of time with family this week-end. I love my family. I love Fred’s family. Every time we visit his daughter and grandbaby Kylie, I get excited that I will be able to watch Kylie grow. She’s already got the blueprint of her personality forming. She’s knows how to smile to melt your heart, she’s willful, she’s sweet, she’s plotting how to get the kitty’s food. She’s almost nine months old. Once she starts walking, lookout cat! Lookout Mom and Dad – they are going to be very busy.

Emily and Mark came over for a quick swim (actually stand and shiver) The day was beautiful and perfect. The water was cold and refreshing. After our swim, we came back to the condo where Fred had prepared a delicious pot of chili to share with them. Mark and Fred joked with each other. Emily and I discussed wedding music and plans. Lots of fun indeed. Oh the venus and mars thing applies here. Guys and girls are so different. Vive la difference, I say.

Tonight I’m watching the Tony Awards. I love Broadway and theatre. I’m taping it so I can see it again. Liza Minelli was on. She has grown older and it shows in her voice, but she’s still one of my favorite stars. I met her briefly when I was an usher at the Palace Theater. She came out on stage to do a sound check. She sat on the edge of the stage and asked those of us waiting for the audience to arrive, how we thought she sounded. I thought she was wonderful. She asked our names. I told her mine. I told her I thought she was wonderful. She said thank you and when her sound check was complete she went back stage to dress for the show. The concert was fabulous. The evening with Liza was a thrill.

Now Liza has certainly had her ups and downs. Her life has ebbed and flowed. Everyone has watched her, laughed at her and more often, with her.

There she was on stage tonight singing my favorite song of hers, “the World Goes Round”. I marveled at her stamina. She is still standing. I admire that immensely. I hope with all the ebbs and flow and ups and down of my life, I will be standing victorious as she was tonight. Maybe I’ll even be singing the song with her!

Sometimes your happy and sometimes your sad,
but the world goes round
and some times you loose every nickle you’ve had,
but the world goes round
sometimes your life gets broken in pieces, but that does alter a thing
take from me there’s still gonna
a summer a winter, a fall and a spring,
And sometimes a friend starts treating you bad
But the world goes ’round
And sometimes your heart breaks with a deafening sound
Somebody loses and somebody wins
And one day it’s kicks, then it’s kicks in the shins
But the planet spins, and the world goes ’round-
But the world goes ’round
But the world goes ’round
Sometimes your dreams get broken in pieces
But that doesn’t matter at all
Take it from me, there’s still gonna be
A summer, a winter, a spring and a fall
And sometimes a friend starts treating you bad
But the world goes ’round
And sometimes your heart breaks with a deafening sound
Somebody loses and somebody wins
Then one day it’s kicks, then it’s kicks in the shins
But the planet spins, and the world goes ’round
And ’round and ’round and ’round and ’round
The world goes ’round and ’round and ’round
and ’round.

Thank goodness! I say. ebbs and flows, ups and downs, the world will continue to go ’round.

Oh how I love “A Chorus Line” – Emily, Mark, Fred and I went to see it yesterday. I love sharing that play with others. It is uplifting and inspires me to be my best.

I often wish my parents could have afforded dance lessons for me. I am filled with joy when I dance. I loved dancing during the disco days. I love dancing Salsa now. I think if I had stayed dancing like I did in my 20’s, I wouldn’t have the weight issues I have today. I would have kept myself sweaty thin. 😉 Dancing sweat is the only kind of sweat I can handle. I don’t like sweating when I am working out, or working in the yard, or walking on a summer day. I don’t like sweating in a Jazzercise class either. I tolerate the sweating when I’m dancing, because then it’s worth it.

I’ve talked Fred into taking dance lessons. It’s the last thing he really wants to do, but he seems willing to do it for me. That makes me quite happy indeed. When I asked Emily if Mark grumbled when they took dance lessons, she said no. Both of them didn’t want to do the “stand and wiggle” at their wedding. They waltzed. Their dance was beautiful. Hopefully, people will say the same for Fred and me when our first dance comes.

I can’t wait!