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    Haiti Earthquake and disaster – January 22, 2010

    People have asked me, “How I’m doing about Haiti.” It unsettles me when I hear this question.  How are they doing about Haiti?  Should I feel differently than they?  Do I feel differently?  I was there 40 years ago, when I was 15.  “Don’t be afraid of death…” These words were spoken by a woman carried out of the rubble six days after the first quake.===I am very afraid of death. I confess. I think my fear started there…in Haiti.This catastrophe is nothing but death and fear staring us all in the face everyday on the news. It was the…

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    Time has changed a bit – Jan 20, 2010

    I can’t decide if I run out of time everyday to blog and answer e-mails like I should, or if I’m avoiding these things because I don’t want to face reality. I think t’is the latter. I have received wonderful suggestions on ways to improve my outlook, my physical shape and other things, yet I sit on my duff and just think about it.  I’m floundering.  I’m feeling like I’m out here all alone.  The weight is creeping back up at an alarming rate. The doctor I want to go to, I can’t afford.  I need a support group of…

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    Whale! January 16, 2010

    A friend sent this tidbit to me.  It made my whole  day; Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin and tanned woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?” A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym. To Whom It May Concern,Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby…

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    Self-loathing is back January 9 2010

    I’m sitting in Bowling Green, Kentucky.  Fred’s robotic’s teams just won second in the state. They competed against 36 teams from across the state, many of them were middle schoolers.  Thus, the second place is awesome! I’m so proud of Fred and what he does. He’s down at the pool with them now while they burn off some energy. I’m sitting in the room will a belly full of good food, feeling grim. I am hating everything about myself again.  Surprise.  Overindulgence.  My middle name.  It will plague me the rest of my life. It will never change. I will…

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    Happy New Year 2010! – Jan. 1

    I like the sound of 2010. It’s a nice, even number. I hope the year is equal to its name. Nice and even – healthy, hopeful and happy.  May we enjoy the birth of new lives, with no loss this year. My prayer is that family, friends and everyone on the planet, really, experiences the fulfillment of dreams, and that their goals are not cut short for lack of anything. Resolutions?  Let’s see, I’m 54.  I am resolved to turn 55, to be kinder to others, to be more patient, maybe even to be a little kinder to myself – oh that last one…

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    Christmas hangover – Dec. 27, 2009

    I’m up in my “clobbered” office trying to figure out how I gather so much crap in such a short amount of time – like a day.  Wrapping presents turned the space into shreds and shards of tattered foiled snowmen. The desk has disappeared underneath the mounting bills and assorted cd’s we use to organize our overindulged need for photos and information about our lives.  I am feeling content, and as usual, a sense of foreboding.This was a difficult week, albeit, fun. We had a wonderful time in Fort Wayne. Family and friends of Larry and Cheri stood around his…

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    Snowy Saturday Dec. 19, 2009

    With the morning snow, Fred and I postponed our departure for Fort Wayne. We are having a Harry Potter Marathon instead. The dog and cat are fighting for spots on our laps. Eggnog, cookies and barbecued meatballs fill our bellies as the the critters whine for some goodies too.  Bliss. I’m struggling with my feelings about food again.  My mother-in-law asked me how the band was doing.  Doing? With all the fluid taken out and now being slowly returned, once a month – I can say the band is doing nothing.  I’m eating like a starved prisoner who has found…

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    Finally – the Wedding Story 12/17/2009

    Dear Readers, Apologies for the long lag between entries. I confess to being a bit scatter brained coupled with “dust settling” tiredness. Completing full sentences in prose is exhausting right now. I’m lucky to update a status sentence on Facebook. So where do I begin. Back at the dress fitting, I reckon. I got the final drainage tube out Tuesday, September 29. My stomach has taken on a life of its own. I wish I could just cut it off of me. It’s mammoth and I’m tired of it being in the way of things. I purchased an acrylic cane…

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    October 6, 2009 – Here comes the bride

    Have I mentioned that I have awesome friends? They dressed me up and took me to Brio’s for a Bachelorette Party. It was lovely. Don’t you love the veil? I was a little tired, but we enjoyed the evening. Yesterday I went for the final dress fitting. I am more than ecstatic to report it fit better than I ever imagined it would. Having the “pet rock” hernia removed and all the pain of the last month at least brought something good! Laura McCafferty, Emily’s sister-in-law and renowned professional costumer, is creating the dress alterations. She actually wanted to take…

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    October 1, 2009 – Testify to Love

    Fred’s news was all good. He’s back to work, counting down the days to our big wedding day. Friends and family are coming from across the country. It’s pretty exciting. There are some people we are wishing we would have been able to invite. Is it too late to ask? hmmmm. Fred has given his cough and sore throat to me – and we haven’t even been close enough to kiss in the last few weeks. I reckon just breathing the same air will do it. One more week and we will both be healthy, right???? Fred is a saint.…